3/98: The play went well. But if you'd asked me 3 hours before the first show how I thought it would be, I'd'a said 'crap'!

The sound effects were supposed to be done in time for two dress rehearsals the night before (I'm also sure the sound guy Rowell Gorman starts his taxes 4/14). Well, we had a nasty thunderstorm that night, and a tornado touched down a few blocks from Rowell's house, and his electricity was cut off. It came on at 3am, and he worked the rest of the night. We had our dress rehearsal at 9am, 2.5 hours before we opened. Rowell said lots of stuff like "... I'll have to shorten/lengthen that section... I'll need to remember not to do that... oh yeah thanks for reminding me, I'll add that in... be sure you don't do that, it'll mess up the last 30 minutes...". The cast left for the green room filled to the gills with dread.

The first show I lost my place in the script at one point so there was a 5 second period of deathly silence. Otherwise it was good! My first line was "Hollywood... they call it the City of Dreams..." and somehow I resisted this compulsive urge to say "Dollywood... they call it the City of Titties..." instead. Only 10 (of 75) tix were pre-sold, but we only ended up with 10 empty seats! Rowell did a great job, the sound effects were just fine. He chose some beautiful musical interludes, the original music for pre-show was very nice... another artist painted a nifty 12' x 20' backdrop with a fiery arson scene and paintings of the principles (principals?). My favorite sound effect was splashing in a bucket of water to simulate the beautiful femme fatale exiting a swimming pool. Also Rowell had a voice transformer that made it sound like someone talking from a remote telephone.

The second show was the one most of my friends came to, it was sold out, and we hit on all cylinders. Audience was great, laughing a lot. They were really into the 'ribald' bits. It was cool to be able to smile and laugh (quietly) along with them at times, since only my voice had to 'stay in character'. This show was videotaped (3 cameras, 2 DeLuxe microphones), will hopefully be a good souvenir. Alex and Ethan (7 and 5) seemed to enjoy themselves for the most part. The "kisses" were a hoot -- we'd kiss our palms close to the mikes and moan/groan... sigh, talk about your 90's 'safe sex'... I tried to sell the director on real kisses by explaining my religion frowns on using hands for self-gratification, to no avail... on the flip side, at least I didn't REALLY get slapped at one point, then beaten up at another (by some lunk...)

Third show was a bit flat, we were tired... again, about 10 empty seats. At the end of the show, when the faded starlet jumps from the Hollywoodland sign, I scream "IRENE! NO!"  Well my 'NO' climbed an octave shortly after take-off, leaving me to finish my macho outburst in falsetto...

The trains never went by outside in an obtrusive manner. We may record the show one more time, without audience, in a studio. I got to wear a cool retro 40's tie, suit, and a rumpled fedora. I'm SO glad I didn't have to go sans-chapeau, with slicked hair (what's left). I signed four autographs! That may be more than Leo signed Oscar night...

It was hard for me to act without moving around the stage and interacting completely with the other actors. Robbie the director had to remind me to stay at the mike and not move closer to the actor I was talking to, and to look more at the script and less at the other actors.

Opening monolog:

Hollywood. They call it the City of Dreams. Most people think its nothing but glamour and glitz. That's why hundreds of young kids come out here each day, hoping their dreams will carry them to the top. A few actually make it, but most end up on the bottom of the heap, before they pack it up and head back home. Back to the 'real world'. Yeah I came out here too, right after the war. But I'm a reporter. I got to see the underbelly real quick, the dirt they always like to keep swept under the rug. I learned my lesson real quick. These days I just watch it all unfold from the outside, but back then... well, sometimes I just couldn't resist getting in on the action...